Warnings: Incest, angst
Summary: LJ doesn't want his dad to leave him again.
Author's Notes: Set some time around 2x10 and 2x11. (Season 2 timeframe is seriously fucked up)
“I’m going with you.”
Lincoln sighed as he put his head in hands. They had been having this argument for what seemed like hours now, just running around in circles, never getting any farther. And it always ended with the same conclusion, both of them digging their feet in and refusing to concede.
“I already told you,” Lincoln said, exasperated, “That’s not an option.”
“Well I don’t care,” LJ replied stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest, “I’m coming with you whether you like it or not.”
“No. You’re not. And that’s final.”
“Why won’t you let me?!”
“Because, it’s dangerous, LJ-“
“Dangerous?!” LJ yelled incredulously, “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been in situations a lot worse than this. Look, I’m not a little kid.”
“I know that…” Lincoln whispered.
“So stop treating me like one,” LJ said calmly.
Lincoln was so tired of this. Tired of nagging, tired of fighting. This was not the way he wanted to spend their last night together. He rubbed his head absently, trying to find the right words to say. The only thing he could think of was “I’m sorry”.
“I just don’t understand…” LJ said quietly, “…why I can’t be with you. Why you don’t want me.”
The last words were so small they were barely audible and he turned away so his father wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes. He balled his hands into fists, trying hard not to cry. He wanted to prove to his dad that he was a man, that he wasn’t just some little kid. And at the moment he was doing a pretty shitty job of showing it.
Lincoln smiled sadly as he walked over and wrapped his arms around his son, kissing him softly on the side of his face.
“I’ll always want you,” he said, “I’ll always love you. And that’s exactly the reason why you can’t come with me. If anything happened to you, I could never forgive myself.”
LJ turned around and hugged Lincoln tightly, burying his face against the older man’s broad chest.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you either,” he said as he sniffled, “I almost lost you once. Dad, they almost killed you, they almost…”
His voice was rising now, he was nearly hysterical.
Lincoln stroked LJ’s hair, comforting him as he cried, his arms still wrapped tightly around the boy. And at that moment he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to let go.
“I want you…” LJ said, his voice half muffled by Lincoln’s chest, “I want you to…”
He didn’t know how to phrase it. “Fuck me” just didn’t seem like the most appropriate thing to say at the moment. And “make love” was far too girly. He was willing to settle for “have sex”, but even that sounded wrong. Too clinical, too uptight. And then he found just the right thing to say. Something that seemed to fit the situation perfectly.
“I need you inside of me,” he said as he looked up.
Need. Not want, need.
Lincoln looked taken aback for a moment. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t done it before, it’s just that they had never done it in the same house that his dad and about ten other people were sleeping in.
He ruffled LJ’s hair affectionately, before planting a kiss on his forehead.
“I would,” he said, “But I’d really not like my dad to know about my sort of…unconventional sex life.”
“Why?” LJ asked smirking, “My dad already knows about mine.”
Lincoln gave him a look. It was meant to be admonishing, but he couldn’t quite pull it off when he was grinning.
“Only if you promise to be quiet,” he said, “Really quiet.”
LJ only responded by gleefully kissing him on the lips, his body pressed against his father’s.
“I promise,” he said as he broke away.
The tears were gone now, replaced by a smile. The boy was happy, for awhile, and Lincoln was glad that he could at least provide his son with that.
“I love you.” He breathed the words against LJ’s neck, his lips just barely touching his skin.
“I love you too, dad.”
And someday…someday we’ll stop saying goodbye.